Monday, April 27, 2009

Lack of Effort + Ability to Quit = 58 point loss

I was going to sit on this. Let it rest for a couple days, but I couldn't. No, you see losing by 58 points in a basketball game is horrendous. But, for an NBA team to lose by 58 points, oh well that's a crime.

Let me put it this way what the Hornets put on tonight is worse than what your dog leaves in the grass in the morning.

Much worse.

Tonight the New Orleans Hornets at home, against the Denver Nuggets, trailing only 2-1 in the series, lost 121-63. The game is epic in all proportions, specifically on the quit-scale.

I'm sure there are some choice words from the Hornet fans for George Karl running up the score. That is understandable in some aspects, but I really do not think Karl is the one at fault.

See if a team loses by 25 and the other team is still working to increase that lead, being angry at the opposing coach can be more understandable, but not for 58 points. The main thing is in order to get to the land of being down by 50+ points that team has to do something remarkable, absolutely unprecedented, they have to quit.

And folks the New Orleans Hornets quit. No team loses by 58 without quitting and there is nothing more disheartening, more gut-wrenching than to see the team you root for throw in the towel. I can't point fingers at specific people, but I'm sure those guys know who they are, and frankly I think I'll be mentally disturbed for the rest of my life.

You never forget the day your team quits. No, quitting is not when your team lets up when down by seven with 15 seconds left. That's just facing the reality that you lost.

This is different. Far different.

The last time I can think of a team quitting on me was the New Orleans Saints, and I am not talking about the 52-3 loss they had at Lambeau Field in 2005. (Frankly, I think the events of Hurricane Katrina played a role in that, but that's another story.)

The day the Saints quit on me was January 6, 2002. The Saints were 7-8 going into the final game of the season against the 12-3 San Francisco 49ers. Sure, the previous two weeks the Saints had lost by a combined score of 88-31, but that was nothing compared to this.

In a lackluster effort the Saints got shutout 38-0. The pinnacle of loneliness with your team is when you see them quit. I saw that with the Saints in 2002 and I saw it with the Hornets tonight.

It might be one loss, but it speaks volumes about the character of some of the guys on this team. And frankly, I don't like it.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

3 Strong Reasons Why Lane Kiffin Being Successful is Good for the SEC and LSU

No coach has had more of a splash in the Southern Eastern Conference recently than Lane Kiffin. He has done nothing short of stir up drama, but rest assured I do think his success will ultimately prove good for the SEC and LSU. Even as an LSU fan who's team lost out on recruits Bryce Brown and Janzen Jackson to Tennessee, I still stay strong to this thinking.

Tennessee v. Florida

In the past this game was an SEC favorite. Remember in 2004 when Tennessee beat Florida 30-28? The game then was a early season fan-favorite fist fight. It was early in the year, but the implications of the game where huge. But in recent years the game has featured nothing more than lopsided Florida victories. Last year Florida pounded Tennessee 30-6 in Neyland Stadium, the year before Florida pounded Tennessee 59-20 in the Swamp. Since 1993, Florida is 12-4 against the Volunteers. If Kiffin can get a good team together than this rivalry can be resurrected. It's unlikely that this year Kiffin's club will beat Florida considering the talent Florida has compared to Tennessee, but I do expect the Vols to hang with the Gators for three quarters.

Overall, Kiffin does well, this rivalry is watchable again.

More recruits to Tennessee

If Tennessee gets good again than more recruits will head to Vol Nation from Alabama. Now granted I know the negative aspect of UT getting good is LSU losing some recruits. That is frustrating, but that's part of the game. With that said, I still think LSU's recruiting class turned out, hmm alright this year. Wouldn't you agree?

But back to the subject, right now Nick Saban runs Alabama. He gets the best recruits there and frankly I have always been a fan of sharing so Kiffin hopefully you can get Alabama to share. Same can be said about Florida. Urban Meyer runs that state, wouldn't be too terrible if some sharing took place in the Sunshine State as well.

LSU rarely plays Tennessee

This is the one some many LSU fans fail to grasp. Yes, I am well aware LSU plays Tennesee in Baton Rouge in 2010 and then in Knoxville in 2011, but after that LSU will play Tennessee about once every four years. Since 1993 LSU has squared off with Tennessee only seven times, but keep in mind two of those games where in the SEC Championship. Overall, five matchups in 13 years. If anything Tennessee becoming good again is a thorn in the side of Florida and Alabama because those two schools have to play the Vols every year no questions asked.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Be Green: Double Wipe Campaign

In the US the Be Green campaign has spilled over into all facets of American life, but the latest campaign looks to make a bigger impact than anything the world has ever seen.

Dr. Wesley G. Billings of the Energy Institute of the World has just manifested the lasted campaign to capture the spirit of being green.

In a recent interview with Dr. Billings, he reviled his reasoning behind his Be Green campaign.

"Everyone seems to wanting to save paper and be smarter," Billings stated. "That's great and I think it is honestly working. With that said, I really do think what I bring to the table is innovative and nothing short of exciting."

Billings eyes light up like a hobo who spots an unoccupied hot dog. He speaks vividly on his plan and how it asks citizens to use a piece of toilet paper twice before deposing of it.

"Think of the paper we would save if little Billy was able to use the same piece of toilet paper more than once. Heck, what if he could use it six times!"

Through Billings research he has estimated that if one uses toilet paper at least more than one time, than paper usage would go down in the US by 27.4% alone.

To spread the word of Billings's message shirts are being sold at colleges and malls across the US.

"Starting in the big cities such as Portland, Maine; Topeka, Kansas; and Lubbock, Texas we are spreading the word of the campaign. We are thankfully hitting the big markets right from the beginning. In the future we hope to get Milwaukee! But I have to say I think the public will love the shirts we have made. On the front it will 'DW,' on the back they will say 'Just Fold It Over Once More. Please.' I think it's a real gold mine."

Going up against Billings and his campaign is the organization, the People's Right of the Bathroom. PRB, as they refer to themselves, insist that Billings's proposal eats away at the very foundation of our society.

"How dare he tell me what to do in the bathroom!" shouted PRB president William Blaring. "This campaign is only the beginning. First, they want to suggest something, next they slam down a law saying how long you can be in the John. Well, I'll tell you what, never will I ever bow down to anyone when we talk about my bathroom rights!"

Blaring's disapproval only continues to highlight how sour a subject toilet discussions are. As Billings states, he knows getting people on his side will be difficult because "one's time in a bathroom is sacred."

"I realize I am infiltrating the hardest lair to invade, the bathroom, but I do believe that if we wipe once more with that same piece of ply, than the world can be greener, and that we can make a difference."

Note: This article was done in humor. Do not think of it anymore than that.

MM: Email

Energy Conservation: Black Out Week

With the worldwide energy crisis hitting an all time high. (Recent reports indicate on the energy-o-meter the world is at a 9.8 out of 10) Drastic measures are being put together to make the situation better.

The latest plan was brought up by Dr. Blake D. Manning of the Scientific Institute of Thought in Denver, Colorado.

Manning and his team of extraordinary gentlemen are composing a proposal that will be sent out to the US Government as well as the governments of over 80 nations worldwide.

"We are proposing a black out week."

Manning states that no one wants to cut back on driving, mowing, riding there go-karts, using there wave runners, drying there hair with the latest hairdryer, so the most reasonable goal is to cram changing some one's lifestyle into one week.

"For one week, a mere 168 hours, no electricity! Just one freakin' week! Shouldn't be too tough."

With the help of his trusty sidekick, Dr. Wilford J. Crawford, the plan been worked on for weeks.

"Originally Crawdad [Dr. Crawford] and I wanted to convince the world to not have power for a month, but we figured everyone would whine and moan. Especially the Brits, so we trimmed it down to one week."

By Manning and Crawford's calculations, one week without power for the world would be the same as 50 years under the current global energy conservation plan.

"My paps use to always tell me, 'Son the only thing you are good for is opening beer bottles,' but he also use to tell me 'if you want people to do something they won't like cram it into a small time frame.' Well, one week is a small time frame world."

The proposal, 76 words in all, calls for the week of June 1 to June 7 to not have any activities going on that require electricity or gasoline.

Opposition for the proposal has grown in recent weeks. Some state that without power millions would die in the hospital. To this statement Manning simply replied, "One word: Advil."

But, the biggest issue with the black out week deals with the set date taking place during the National Basketball Association's postseason.

"The NBA Playoffs will be going on," yelped an angry Gary Belvins of Barrow, Alaska. "How you suppose I gonna be able to watch Shawn Kemp dunk on dem folk?"

When notified that Shawn Kemp no longer played in the NBA, Belvins could not be reached for comment. All that could be heard was a low-wailing, girl-ish crying sound.

Manning assures people such as Belvins that electricity is irrelevant to a success NBA postseason.

"Look no one needs to worry about this affecting Kobe, LeBron or T.O. Just play the games outside, or better yet bring a candle to the game. Simple as that Jack."

Note: This article was done in humor. Do not look into any farther than that.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Times New Roman: Font Fury!

To Whom It May Concern:

To many of you out there you know who I am. I am the very thing that makes you look good in school, the very thing that makes you start off well in a job interview. Heck, I am the essence of your professional lives. Ladies and gentleman I am Times New Roman. Now for much of my existence I have been fine with you guys and all your different fonts. Sure there are Wingdings and Journal and all those other ridiculous fonts, but still I was No. 1.

But that feeling of comfort was swept away when the latest version of Microsoft Word 2007 had Calibri as the default font.

Calibri, really Calibri? Do I need to even start about this two-time hack? He's a joke! And even worse is you humans seem to be switching to Calibri more often. I'll tell you what, I'm not having it. I'm not dealing with this nonsense any longer!

I'm the loyal Times New Roman, yet people are swaying over to the young rookie? Let us not forgot the day when I was constructed by the great Stanley Morison and Victor Lardent in 1931. Please let us not forget! For it seems you all are so caught up in this Generation Y garbage.

Who makes your dissertations look good? ME! Who makes that thesis looking appealing? ME! When you want to write something worthwhile and meanwhile you stuck with me.

Look, like I said, Calibri can't handle being No. 1. Sure the font is happy to be the default on Microsoft Word now, but you'll see. Sooner or later someone is going to complain about the font’s appearance and only God knows if Calibri can take the heat.

And believe me he can't.

He's weak, he's nimble. Like a deer. A weak, nimble deer.

I hope this letter to you users of font has proven my complete, utter disgust with your recent decisions to substitute the polished veteran, me, in exchange for the unproven rookie, Calibri.

I am sorry but I ask to be released from all font duties as I need to take a year off to think about this. In my eyes I am either No. 1 or nothing.

God speed,

Times New Roman

P.S. And this stupid blog post does not even have Times New Roman! What's this world coming to...