Pick Your Poison

As far as this summer goes this has to be one of the worst concerning sports. The MLB has it's whole mess with Barry Bonds and the steroid investigation, the NFL has players constantly running it trouble with the law (Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, the entire Cincinnati Bengals roster, and almost forget Michael Vick and his dogfighting allegations), and finally the NBA has a scandal involving a 13-year veteran referee possibly fixing games.

Earlier this week on OnSports with JP & Kevin on FoxSports 1230 WCWA, JP proposed the question which commissioner would you rather be?

Would you want to be Bud Selig of the MLB who is now face-to-face with Barry Bonds, a steroid user, breaking one of the most hallowed records in sports?

Or how about Roger Goodell of the NFL who now has PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) protesting outside his office for the immediate punishment of Vick following claims that the Virginia Tech grad was allegedly connected with dogfighting in someone way or another?

Or how about David Stern of the NBA? Since taking over as commissioner of the NBA, Stern has worked nonstop on the integrity of the game. He is now realizing that under his watch, 13-year veteran referee Tim Donaghy was making certain calls during games, depending on the point spread.

So if you had the choice of choosing which commissioner you would like to be at this moment who would it be? (And NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is not an option.)

Before you start brainstorming your thoughts take a look at my explanation for the poison I would choose.

First off, no way would I want to be in Bud Selig's shoes. Let's remember Selig knew that steroids where involved in baseball during the 1998 home run chase, but still let did not do anything. Even though Barry Bonds knowingly took steroids, it was Selig who did not step up and stop this mess from growing into what it is now - a disaster. In some ways, you can look at Selig as Frankenstein and this steroid investigation as the monster he created. (Just a little FYI, Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster.)

As for the next person I would not want to be in the shoes off, that award would be given to David Stern. The reason for this is the referee scandal is something, like the steroid investigation, that will echo for more than one season. Also, it damages the one thing in basketball that could take some time to heal: the integrity of the game. Yes, Stern is not as responsible as much for this nightmare like Frankstein above, but Stern was still the man in charge.

By eliminating Selig and Stern, that leaves NFL commissioner Roger Goodell as the commissioner who's shoes I would have to be in. The reason for my decision includes two parts:

1. Even though there is a lot of controversy surrounding the NFL with Pacman and Vick's alleged dogfighting charges, these stories will only echo for this year. Granted they are terrible stories, but you will not be watching an NFL game several years from now questioning the integrity of the game like you will for the NBA and MLB. That's the key, the controversies in the NFL will not affect the integrity of the game.

2. Legal troubles are always present in sports. I am not saying this is in anyway acceptable, but it is a fact that professional athletes are always getting in trouble with the law. Look at the NBA, Ron Artest will miss the first 7 games of the 2007 season because of spousal battery, and then there's Stephen Jackson, a Golden State Warrior who will be suspended for the first 7 games of the 2007 season as well because of pulling a gun out in a parking lot dispute. As for the MLB there are the countless legal investigations of trainers, doctors, and players who were involved in the BALCO steroid ring.

All in all, choosing to fill the shoes of anyone of these men is one most people could do without. With that said, I am forced to choose the commissioner who I feel is facing more of the "normal" situations. That winner is Roger Goodell. Now by all means I am not claiming Goodell has an easy dilemma on hand. (PETA is at his office. PETA!) But his situation as compared to Selig's and Stern's never in anyway damages the most important thing for a professional sport: the integrity of the game.

And like I stated earlier, that truly is the most important aspect of a sport.

Magazine Downer

During the summer months there is a certain day all college football fans anxiously await. The day the elite college football magazine comes out. Street & Smith as this magazine is called comes out not too early or not too late into the summer, but rather at the perfect time. You have just enough time to gather all the season's information right before the football year finally kicks off.

Yes, I understand there are numerous college football magazines (Athlon Sports) out there from the beginning of the summer, but Street & Smith is in a different league. Best way to explain it is with a Street & Smith college football preview magazine, you the reader are actually interested in reading about "great" teams such as Duke and Temple.

That's powerful.

This past Friday my dad got home from being out of town. He said he had seen Street & Smith's at a airport newstand. My whole day was set. I was getting my Street & Smith issue and for the next 72 hours my eyes were not leaving that magazine. But more importantly, I would finally be able to cease watching reruns of the Cosby Show.

I raced to the nearby Kroger, weaving through traffic like Stevie Wonder was behind the wheel. I ran into the store and looked down the magazine aisle. Nothing. Some NFL magazines, 400 fantasy football issues, and some low-quality college football magazines that seemed to only focus on the Big Ten.

I began to panic so I got in my stallion of a car and drove over to Barnes & Noble. As I raced inside, I bulldozed over any living creature in my way. Looked around and found the magazine section of the store. Once I arrived at my destination I saw to my dismay that again there was not a Street & Smith issue. Something was wrong. I called my dad asking for reassurance that he did indeed see a Street & Smith at the airport. I explained to him all I was seeing were Athlon Sport magazines.

Then I heard the words that will haunt me forever.

"Geez I thought I had seen one, maybe I was mistaken."

I bought the Athlon Sports copy and drove home. I still find myself waiting for the Street & Smith issue to arrive, but when I do I can't help but remember the day my dreams were crushed..

...crushed by a man who had simply mistaken one magazine for another...

Where's the Justice?

Today it was announced by the NCAA that the University of Oklahoma football team will be forfeiting all of it's 2005 season and for the next two football seasons the Sooners will lose a combined 4 scholarships. Once again it is crystal clear the NCAA did not rightfully serve justice.



As the story goes, Rhett Bomar the quarterback of Oklahoma at the time, and teammate J.D. Quinn were accepting money from a local car dealership, despite the fact the two men where not actually doing any work. Turned out the teammates had accepted around $8,000 a piece. Oklahoma found out this past season prior to the kickoff of the college football year. In response to the situation, Coach Bob Stoops booted Bomar and Quinn off the team.



The NCAA's so called "justice" in this circumstance is nothing short of garbage. That image we all use to have that the NCAA administration consisted of a bunch of righteous, noble employees is about as true as OJ Simpson is innocent. (Keep in mind these "noble" NCAA men were accepting $400 just to let people in through the gates without a ticket at the Texas/USC National Championship. How do I know this? My older brother went to the game and witnessed it.)



Remember back in 2006 when scandals were popping up involving Reggie Bush and how he accepted money while at USC? The figure was somewhere around $300,000. My question is whatever happen to that situation? Simple: it's USC. Before you bash me on my ridiculous comments let me assure you there are indeed certain teams that do get "favored." (Cough! Notre Dame for sure.)



So simply put the USC scandal "rolls over" and the Oklahoma one does not? Say what you want but even in the world of sports, the NCAA being biased towards another school does exist. If the NCAA wants to pose the image to the public that they are an effective organization, they must follow one rule: fairness. Favoring big time schools such as USC is not a myth, rather a well-known fact. Just look at Norman, Oklahoma where the University of Oklahoma is being severly punished for illegal actions by some former players.

As for Los Angeles, California home of USC? Well come on don't be silly! It's USC, they can do no wrong.

My Rebuttal to Stewart Mandel's Comments

This past Friday on the front page of SI.com there was an article written by Stewart Mandel and his thoughts regarding LSU football coach Les Miles's comments about USC. I felt obligated to post my own thoughts because it seems Mr. Mandel is "confused" on certain aspects dealing with LSU and USC.

Mandel starts off by saying that Miles's claim USC has an "easy" schedule is not legit. Mandel goes onto to say that USC did have to play Arkansas, the SEC West champions, last year. USC would win that game 50-14.

That is a good point Mr. Mandel, but you forget one important thing: injuries. Darren McFadden, the stud running back for Arkansas, was not even playing that Saturday. That alone made a huge difference in the final score. Plus, the quarterback was Robert Johnson a young man who would end up starting one more game the rest of the season. Very deceiving when you get down to the facts.

The other two USC opponents listed as "difficult" in Mandel's mind are Nebraska and Notre Dame. Notre Dame finished the year ranked 17th, but more importantly the Irish had three losses that came by an average score of 44-20. As the season ended "overrated" went right along with an Irish team that proved to be over matched in some of their biggest games. As for the Nebraska team I would say they are a solid team, but not yet an elite opponent.

So, Mandel those where USC's three "tough" opponents last year? Weak.

Good ole Stu would continue on by saying LSU had no room to talk considering they had played easy teams like Fresno State, Kentucky, and Mississippi State at home. That statement is indeed true, but again Mandel failed to point out some important bits of information. LSU played (for the first time in history) four Top 10 football teams on the road. Now try and explain to me that playing Auburn, Florida, Tennessee, and Arkansas on the road makes LSU's schedule "easier" than USC which included home games against Nebraska and Notre Dame, and (like LSU) a road game against Arkansas? But as you know LSU had to compete against a Razorback team with Darren McFadden on the field and a quarterback comfortable with his roll in Casey Dick.

Must of slipped your mind Mr. Mandel, it must of...

My second example of Mandel's idiocy comes later in the article when he asks the reader: "Why doesn't Pete Carroll bash LSU and how they have to play Vandy and Mississippi State?"

Well other than the fact Carroll is a soft spoken coach, the reason he does not criticize how LSU has to play those two mediocre-at-best teams is LSU has more difficult opponents. In an unbiased view it has to be realized the SEC is one of (my opinion the toughest) the hardest conferences.

Looking back at the final 2007 AP College Football poll, in the Top 15 the SEC had 4 teams (Florida, LSU, Auburn, and Arkansas). The Pac-10 had a mere two, USC was 4th and the next closest was California at 14th. The thing with the Pac-10 is numerous teams always start off the year good. This past year Oregon jumps out to a 4-0 record, but come the end of the year the Ducks would finish 7-6 and in that the Pac-10 loses credibility.

Stewart Mandel's misinterpretation of LSU's anger towards USC was most clear during his talk about the 2003 season. For example, Mandel states,"by virtue of [LSU's] victory over Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl, [LSU] earned the top spot in the coaches poll."

This statement baffles me because to me it comes across as saying LSU was given the top spot in the coaches poll because the coaches felt obligated to do that. Why is it not pointed out that USC claims themselves national champions even though the Trojans never won the BCS trophy? LSU did! Yes, Trojans had a very good team, but keep in mind that USC, LSU, and Oklahoma all finished with one loss. Someone was going to miss out. Overall, disrespect, is the best way to describe the way the media and snobby online magazine writers (cough!) treat LSU's 2003 National Championship. Credit is rarely given where due, but I do congratulate Mandel on making that segment of his article seem unbiased. Come on! Completely one-sided statement Stu!

All in all, let me say I do indeed think USC is one heck of a football team. They have got the talent and coaching to year in and year out compete for the National Championship. The problem I have is the relatively lackluster schedule the Trojans seem to play each year. USC does have there road tests, but it seems too often the Trojans are going up against Pac-10 teams that start strong, but finish poorly. Les Miles boldly said what so many coaches, analysts, and fans feel across the country. "USC is a great team, but they do not seem to be in a particularly difficult conference." For me, it is frustrating for a team of that caliber to not seem challenged in their own conference.

One more thing Stu, your Tiger Bait, so by all means continue your suckling of USC and stay the hell out of Louisiana...

Tainted Record

I work as a board operator at 1230 WCWA in Toledo, Ohio. This past week the two hosts of the station's sports show had a guest on air who said something I feel fails to be mentioned.

I consider myself a basketball and football fan. I do not pay particular attention to baseball, except during playoff time. With that said, I still do engage myself in the sport's national issues such as the steroids controversy.

The guest on the show was Christine Brennan of the USA Today and her comments were ones I can only begin to compliment. Paraphrased, Brennan said the Major League Baseball's handling of the Barry Bonds situation has been nothing short of pathetic. One of the greatest records in sports is being approached by nothing more than a cheater. Brennan continues to say Commissioner Bud Selig knew this was going on during the Sosa/McGwire homerun bash, but failed to act. A record has been tainted forever by a cheater.

As for my thoughts on Brennan's remarks, I could not agree more. The media and public fails to blatantly realize that Barry Bonds was and is a cheater. Yes, he was a solid hitter prior to when he began taking steroids, but once he started dosing Bonds was transformed into a power hitter. In fact his head grew three sizes in one season.

I understand lots of people still feel Bonds is innocent considering he has not been convicted. That is where your wrong. As stated by Brennan on the 1230 WCWA sports show, leaked information from a grand jury stated that Barry Bonds did indeed confess to a jury he had taken steroids.

So why has action not been taken? Simple, Bud Selig choose not to in 1998 and sure is heck is not going to be doing it now. He failed the sport of baseball, but more importantly the fans and the game. And it did not help that Barry Bonds cheated a record Hank Aaron earned rightfully.

There are three scenarios I hope happen to Barry Bonds:

1. A pitcher smokes him in the knee and his career is called before he gets the record.
2. No one cheers for his record breaking homerun.
3. Barry Bonds is never elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

It really is unthinkable how bad things have gotten for baseball. Selig failed to act, and Bonds desired to cheat. Result? A huge asterisk next to the 700 something homeruns Barry Bonds hits.

Dear Tim Duncan

Dear Tim Duncan,

Hey man it's me Chris. We have never met, and probably never will. Just wanted to say I am sorry. Sorry for being a part of the group of people who have consistently under appreciated your talents.

Well I am here to say you have convinced me that you are indeed one of the greatest power forwards to ever play the game. Heck, when you probably hang up your shoes you will be the greatest.

Not sure why you had to win 4 championships before I gave you your credit. Most likely it's your quiet demeanor you operate with, or that goofy look you get on your face during a game.

As a basketball fan who loves to study the game, I have come to realize just how exceptional of a player you truly are. Your passing is that of a guard, and that textbook bank shot is a thing of beauty. Through all the criticism, you have kept your head up and continued working hard.

Nothing seems to rattle you, or for that matter make you the least bit upset. At 31 years old most NBA players may be on the down slope of your career. Well believe me, I am convinced you are still very capable of winning a couple more championships.

In fact, I guarantee when you retire you will have at least 6 NBA Championships.

One of the most incredible aspects of your game is not your fluid, grace-like post moves, but rather your instinctive ability to consistently play better come playoff time.

In 10 NBA seasons, you have averaged 21.8 points and 11.9 rebounds per game. Pretty good, yet come the postseason, Mr. Big Fundamental, you are putting up 23.8 points and 12.5 rebounds per game. An astounding increase that leads directly to all the hardware you at your home in San Antonio.

Well I think I have said everything that needed to be said. Bottom line, you are the most underrated player in the NBA today. If not in history. Honestly, has anyone in history ever been under appreciated as much as you have? Really can not think of anyone along those lines who is also a 4 time world champion.

You are the perfect ball player as you do not care about individual awards or stats, you simply care about doing what is absolutely the best thing for the team.

Come to think of it, last guy to do that did not turn out all bad. Ain't that so Bill Russell?


Sincerely,


Your Servant

Upcoming Summer 2007 and Beyond Movies

Watching movies is a pastime of mine I deeply enjoy. Only problem is I rarely can make the time to actually go to the theater. Last movie I saw was Spiderman 3, and much like what everyone else thinks; it stunk.

But anyway it is summertime and that means big blockbusters will be released every 30 seconds. Here are some of the biggest blockbusters on their way...

(In no particular order)

1. Live Free or Die Hard Release: June 22nd

Thoughts: I like all kinds of movies, and as you may guessed I do like the occasional action packed film. With that said, the first Die Hard movie was an enjoyable film to watch. At the time it was a new, raw type of plot, along with some good fight scenes. I was not much of a fan for Die Hard 2 or 3. I mean they were okay, but I would never rent it again to watch with my friends. (Probably because the movies are on FX every other day.) Anyway, Live Free or Die Hard is the story about John McClain (Bruce Willis) saving America after a computer hacker shuts down half the US. Die Hard 4 looks good, but there seem to be too many scenes flat out silly.

Example 1: In the commercial preview a helicopter is shooting at Bruce Willis's car. He decides to drive his car at a fast speed into a ramp. At this time Willis rolls out of the car, and in the same instant the car hits the ramp and crashes into the helicopter causing an explosion the size of 5 nukes.

My problem with a scene like that is it loses the audience. I understand there are things in every movie that are "impossible," but they do not look ridiculous. In the end, a scene like that makes the main character look like a superhero. That is not wanted.

Analysis: Live or Die Hard will be an exciting, thrilling movie, but nothing more. Just another typical Hollywood action-packed movie.


2. Transformers Release: July 3rd

Thoughts: I have been eagerly waiting for this film for almost a year. Before you criticize the silliness in having a real life movie about transformers, realize who is at work here: Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay. Spielberg is famous for Jurassic Park as well as every other great movie. Bay was the producer for the recent Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie, and well as a few others. The movie will be an incredible showing of special effects. More importantly, is the detail the robots are being done with. For instance when these robots transform there arms are filled with grease and marks of discoloration and scratches. Bottom line: realistic.

Why is that important? The more Bay and Spielberg can guide the Transformers movie away from the cartoon image of these perfect looking robots, the more likely the audience will really began to believe the story, thus in the end like the movie.

Analysis: Transformers will be a very fun movie to watch. Better than Live Free or Die Hard because it's a new type of action movie. For crying out loud, the main characters are transforming machines. Financially it will be successful and overall I think it will be a hit in that it entertains, while giving the audience a deep, understandable plot. I think many will be surprised on how good Transformers will end up being.


3. Rush Hour 3 Release: August 10th

Thoughts: Rush Hour and Rush Hour 2 were two hilarious movies. Along with the comedy, the movies combined realistic plots that consisted of excellent karate scenes. Though, Mr. Chris Tucker being so good at karate did seem like a stretch. Another good aspect of the movie is how the two main characters are two different races. Why may this be a plus? It allows for the color of some one's skin to be irrelevant (in this case an Asian and an African-American), while poking fun at various racial issues that plague our news stations.

Example: "You ain't never touch a black man's radio!" Chris Tucker said in Rush Hour 1.

This movie has been due for a number of years. Chris Tucker is a great actor for this movie because he is so blunt with what he says. No BS. As for Jackie Chan, his karate always makes a movie worthwhile.

Analysis: The third movie is not always the greatest of a series. (Spiderman 3, Jurassic Park 3, Die Hard 3, and Pirates of Caribbean 3) Even so, I see Rush Hour 3 being a hit again. Like the previous two Academy Awards were not won, but the film was an overall success. Tucker and Chan's movies typically attract a very wide range of audience members. (Teenagers, Asians, Adults, and African-Americans.)


4. The Simpsons Movie Release: July 27th

Thoughts: The Simpsons remains the longest running television show in history (17 years), and for many of those years fans have been awaiting the day a Simpsons movie would be released. As much success as the franchise has had, problems still remain present. For one, recent episodes have been criticized as not being as humorous. Maybe the company is running out of ideas, but regardless this needs to be fixed. The second problem is the franchise's biggest: Family Guy. Fans are turning from The Simpsons to FOX's other show Family Guy.

!NOTE! I would like to make a special note regarding Family Guy and the Simpsons. I enjoy both shows, yet for me personally Family Guy seems to go over the top too much. Now for the most part the program is fine with me, but certain scenes cross the line. Also, The Simpsons seems to, believe it or not, emphasize family values more than Family Guy. (That is more important than you may think. People want to relate to television characters who are overall good people.) Okay, I understand that sounds "mom-ish" to say, but let me explain.

Example: In a Family Guy episode Peter Griffin tries to remember a certain character he runs into. The next scene shows a flashback. Peter is in high school laughing at this certain character who is crying at his mom's grave. How's that funny? To me that plain wrong.

Analysis: Making this movie is a huge risk. The Simpsons ratings are already on a down slope, and a poor movie showing could dent it even more. I think the movie will be comical, yet nothing really special. Just another typical Simpons episode. Also, it will run into the same problem of Family Guy's Stewie Griffin movie. The Simpsons is a half hour show that will running at least three times longer in theaters. You can only have so much material for a show for so long. Look at the Family Guy movie, by the end you could tell the jokes had run out.


5. 1408 Release: July 22nd

Thoughts: This is a movie starring Samuel L. Jackson and John Cusack about a mysterious hotel room that is haunted. Cusack's character wants to pursue the mystery behind this room and decides to stay in it for a certain amount of time.

Yawn.

How many times has there been a scary movie about a haunted room? Pathetic. This is so unoriginal I can not imagine how anyone would have an interest to go see it. There many be some thrilling scenes, but overall very bleak and uncreative.

Analysis: Movie of the moment is what 1408 will be. Teenagers will want to see something scary one Saturday night and 1408 will be their choice. It will be a scary film to watch, but afterward the film will be nothing special. Just a spur of the moment kind of deal. (Cough. Panic Room, House of Wax, etc.)


6. The Bourne Ultimatum Release: August 3rd

Thoughts: This will be the third installment of the Bourne series. Matt Damon is back and many fans will be hoping he again creates a suspenseful thriller. Damon's character, Jason Bourne, was a highly-trained killer working for the US government. After a freak accident Bourne wakes up one day to find out he has no idea who he is. Through the first two films Bourne slowly begins to piece together the life he had as an assassin.

In the third book of the "Bourne story," the character Jason Bourne ages and refrains from his encounters with the government officials. What's that mean? This upcoming movie is not based off the book, but rather the director. Keep that in mind.

Analysis: The first two films got better each time. As for this third one, I do not see that happening. In fact I seeing the Bourne Ultimatum being a big disappoint financially and visually. Main reason for this assessment of mine is no hype has been present for this film. That is very odd considering the success of the first two.



Upcoming Movies Not this Summer

American Gangster Release: November 2nd

-Denzel Washington is the taxi driver for a notorious crime boss. When the boss is murdered Washington seizes power and begins his "American Dream."
(It will be good. Denzel Washingon is an incredible actor who is always in quality films.)

Alien vs. Predator 2 Release: December 25th

-Much like the original, this film will be very entertaining and consist of many good fight sequences between the Alien and Predator.
(It will be entertaining, and nothing more. Expect another silly ending like AVP.)

Dark Knight Release: July 18th 2008

-The second of Christian Bale's Batman series. This will pick up immediately after Batman Begins with Batman pursuing the mysterious character known as The Joker. Expect to see action from Two Face.
(Batman Begins was so well done. Why? It was believable. I look for the same greatness it yet another film directed by Christoper Nolan.)

Bond 22 Release: November 7th 2008

-Similar to Christian Bale, Daniel Craig was stellar in his first performance in the series of James Bond. Casino Royale brought the Bond franchise off of life support. Please do not worry, Bond 22 is only the temporary name of the movie.
(This movie should be just as suspenseful and rewarding as Casino Royale. Daniel Craig is a great 007. Only possible roadblock is a new director is in charge this time around. Do not fail Marc Foster.)

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Since 2002, Kobe Bryant's reputation has taken a 180 turn. Back then the Lakers and him just finished sweeping the New Jersey Nets in the Finals for the Lakers' third consecutive title. Shaq and him formed some of the most incredible teams in NBA history during that era.

Now look at him...

He's dealt with rape allegations. Sure the case was dropped but the damage was done.
And then there was the Shaq feud that ended with the big man leaving for the Miami Heat.
And now the possibly of Mr. Bryant wanting to be traded from the very team he wanted for himself.

Kobe, if you have any sense about your reputation you will stay put in LA. Without a doubt, when Bryant is on no one can touch him in the NBA. As much as I dislike the Lakers I have to hand it to Kobe and Co. for all the years they took down tough teams like Portland, San Antonio, and Sacramento. And heck, did I mention Kobe is surely one of the 50 greatest NBA players ever?

But that all goes out the window if the Lower Merion H.S. grad darts LA.
Why?

Every person with any remote knowledge about the sport of basketball realizes Shaq's departure was Kobe's doing because he wanted the team to himself.

Now Kobe wants to leave the mess he created? Say he does get traded to some other team and wins another championship or two. When his career is over, and people look back at his statistically, amazing career they will not help but say, "Yeah he was a great player, but..."

Just look at Wilt Chamberlin. A mythological creature who forever changed the way basketball was played. He is always talked about but people continue to mention how he was a poor teammate and how he did have various off court problems.

In the long run leaving LA would be an unwise decision. Bryant is a Laker. He's been one since he was traded from Charlotte to LA during the 1996 NBA Draft. Again, if he is traded his reputation will be similar to the Big Dipper's.

"Yeah he was great player, but..."

Just be careful what you wish for Kobe.

A Disney-esque Story

I frequently find myself hoping for the impossible. When Michael Jordan came back for the second time with the Washington Wizards I was hoping his team would make a run, make the playoffs, and beat Kobe and Shaq in the Finals. Realistic, right? Wrong. MJ and Co. did not even make it to the playoffs for that matter.

Okay so that was off-the-wall, silly to even imagine. But my latest "fantasy" makes the improbable Wizards run look like nothing. If anything this "fantasy" will have the movie producers at Disney drooling.

The Utah Jazz are in the Western Conference Finals for the first time in 9 years. The team seems to be doing pretty well, but when they go against the San Antonio Spurs some help will be needed.

Who better than Karl Malone? (Courtesy of Wikipedia I was able to find out that Mr. Malone now lives in Choudrant, Louisiana.)

Yes, I understand Malone is retired, but The Mailman never did get his ring. His Jazz lost back-to-back years against the Chicago Bulls and right at the end of his career he darted to the Lakers where again his team lost in the NBA Finals. If anything, Malone left the state of Utah on a sour note. That was surely something none of us wanted to witness.

I can see it now the Jazz are in difficult Game 3 against the Spurs. Andrei Kirilenko sprains his leg and the Jazz are forced to call a timeout. Coach Jerry Sloan's team is down by 4 with 3 minutes left and with AK-47 injured things are not looking good.

That's when it happens.

His body building frame comes walking out of the Utah Jazz locker room flaunting his old shooting jersey. Karl Malone has returned to the Delta Center. Malone rips off his shooting jersey and underneath is his rookie uniform.

The noise in the Delta Center is so loud Coach Popovich is unable to calm his team down. Without any hesitation, almost like a reflex, Sloan puts Malone in the game.

In the final 3 minutes, The Mailman has 7 points and 4 rebounds, clearly showing he can still play.

Utah wins Game 3 and the series is now 2-1 San Antonio, though with Malone in the scene the Spurs panic. Jazz end up winning the series in 7 games. The magical story is not over as Utah beats the Pistons in 6 games.

...and finally Karl Malone has his title in the most unlikely of circumstances, but honestly should it really have been a surprise? After all The Mailman always delivers.

Always.

2007 NBA Playoffs

The NBA Playoffs are here, and frankly the title could not be more up for grabs than it is this year. Here are my thoughts on the games.

Eastern Conference

No. 1 seeded Detroit Pistons/No. 8 seeded Orlando Magic
What Will Happen: DET was 4-0 against ORL this year. DET will win this series because of having an even more balanced offense than last year (Chris Weber is a Piston) and ORL's biggest threat is Dwight Howard who puts up 17.7 ppg. That's great but against an experienced team like DET he can't do it alone.

Detroit in 5 games


No. 4 seeded Miami Heat/ No. 5 seeded Chicago Bulls

What Will Happen: This series will be enjoying. Bulls and Heat slugged it out last postseason, so no reason this will be any different. I say the champs go down in Round 1 to the Bulls because CHI is more talented. Sure Miami has Dwayne Wade and Shaq, but aside from that not as much as Chicago. The Bulls have Luol Deng, Nocioni, Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinirich. More weapons, better results.

Chicago in 7 games


No. 3 seeded Toronto Raptors/ No. 6 seeded New Jersey Nets

What Will Happen: Toronto had a storybook regular season. Coach Sam Mitchell is Coach of the Year, Chris Bosh is really turning into a force, but in the end I am going to have to side with New Jersey. Jason Kidd is year after year putting up fantastic numbers, and his wingman is Vince Carter. Carter as we all know defies gravity and is an underrated scorer.

New Jersey in 6


No. 2 seeded Cleveland Cavaliers/ No. 7 seeded Washington Wizards

What Will Happen: Great job on CLE snagging the 2nd seed at the last second. LeBron is looking to take his team even farther, and it couldn't be against a more wounded team. Both Caron Butler and Gilbert Arenas are out of the playoffs for WSH because of injuries. Cruel, cruel, fate. The Cavs will roll in this one because to say it simply, the Wiz don't have any offense. Arenas was the team's offense and now he's gone. Oh and it also helps that LeBron is a top 5 player in the league.

Cleveland in 5


Western Conference

No. 1 seeded Dallas Mavericks/No. 8 seeded Golden State Warriors

What Will Happen: Don Nelson is going against his former team with his new project, the Warriors. Warriors are the true Cinderella story considering they won 7 out of their last 8 games to clinch the franchises first playoff berth since the 1993-94 season. Enough said because Dallas has been playing basketball with a huge chip since losing to Miami in the NBA Finals. Overall, DAL has so much more playoff experience than the Warriors. And trust me, that means a lot.

Dallas in 5


No. 4 seeded Utah Jazz/ No. 5 seeded Houston Jazz

What Will Happen: Tracy McGrady is going to play an incredible series because the guy is sick and tired of hearing about how he has never advanced past the first round. Besides HOU is the hardest team to match up against. McGrady up top and Ming down low will cause trouble even for a Jazz team known to always upset the Rockets. Sure Utah has Okur and Boozer down low, but this is Ming's party.

Houston in 6


No. 3 seeded San Antonio Spurs/ No. 6 seeded Denver Nuggets

What Will Happen: The Spurs and Nuggets clashed in the playoffs about a couple of years ago. Nuggets had the Spurs a number of games but would lose it in the end. Now DEN has Allen Iverson. And an even better Carmelo Anthony. I realize the Spurs have the ever-dominant Tim Duncan, defensive specialist Bruce Bowen, and 6th Man of the Year award winner Manu Ginobilli, but I see a first round upset. Spurs are said to be a team peaking at the right time, though in turn I believe it is Denver who is peaking at the perfect time. Anthony and Iverson and starting to mesh and that scares everyone.

Denver in 7


No. 2 seeded Phoenix Suns/ No. 7 seeded Los Angeles Lakers

What Will Happen: You can only wonder if this series will be anything close to last year's seven game series. After going down 3-1, PHX rallied to win Game 7...by 31 points. This year I see it differently because 1) Amare is back for the Suns and 2) Lakers are worse than last year. LAL tripped to the finish line of the regular season. Kobe will have his typical amazing playoff games, but in the end the saying "one player does not make a team" will shine brighter than ever. Bottom line is the Suns can score. No way can the Lakers keep up with that.

Phoenix will win in 6


Divisional Round


Western Conference

No. 1 seeded Dallas Mavericks/No. 5 seeded Houston Rockets

Thoughts: By the conclusion of the Golden State series, DAL will be a smooth running, well-oiled machine. As for HOU, the team will be a little banged up following an intense series with Utah. I think Dallas will take this series because too often against Utah, McGrady and Yao started off slow. Against an inexperienced playoff team like the Jazz that will fly, but not the Mavs. McGrady will get frustrated and try to do it on his own. Overall the balanced attack of Dirk Nowitzki, Josh Howard, and Jason Terry will declare the victor. But HOU will make it interesting.

Dallas in 6 games


No. 2 seeded Phoenix Suns/No. 6 seeded Denver Nuggets
Thoughts: Following a big series win over the Spurs, Nuggets will be looking to continue their magical run. Phoenix will have cruised by the Lakers with little problem. PHO and DEN represent two of the top 3 teams in the NBA when it comes to putting points up on the board. Yet, when I look at PHO scoring will come a lot easier. PHO has Steve Nash, Amare Stoudemire, Boris Diaw, Leandro Barbosa, and Shawn Marion. Each player is very well capable of being the spotlight player on any given night. As for DEN, Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony are superb athletes, but those two can not win it alone. Aside from them there's Marcus Camby, effective on the boards, not on offense, and J.R. Smith, nothing special as his young age. The Suns beat the Nuggets because DEN will try and run with PHO and fail...just like most teams do.

Phoenix in 6 games


Eastern Conference


No. 1 seeded Detroit Pistons/No. 5 seeded Chicago Bulls

Thoughts: The Pistons and Bulls had some epic postseason battles back when Michael Jordan and Isiah Thomas where still playing. This series looks like it too could have that magnitude of great play. DET is going to steamroll the Magic, while the Bulls will surprise many people on just how easily they rip through Miami. I will take Chicago in this series because Detroit is no longer that defensive team that won the title in 2004. They are not a team capable of beating you with there offense. Besides Chicago has more legit scorers than Detroit so Bulls win.

Chicago in 7 games


No. 2 seeded Cleveland Cavaliers/No. 6 seeded New Jersey Nets

Thoughts: The Nets always seem like a team that will wake up one night and POOF make a run to the Finals. Jason Kidd will continue to play superb, while Vince Carter will be consistent night in and night out, occasionally with a 30+ point game. Cavs are a team that I see getting better, but I still manage to give them little respect. Going against a Wizards team deeply injured I think will haunt the Cavs a bit. Nets will be in full swing and catch the Cavs sleeping a bit. But CLE will win the series because of Richard Jefferson. Jefferson is still recovering from an injury earlier in the season. Without Jefferson, Kidd and Carter will be a main focal point. That's still dangerous, though no where near the potential of a team with 3 very legit scorers. Also, Cavs Larry Hughes is starting to show he too can have the spotlight like LeBron. That's a huge plus having someone like Hughes put up 20 points on a given night with so much attention is always on King James.

Cleveland in 7 games


Conference Finals

Western Conference


No. 1 seeded Dallas Mavericks/No. 2 seeded Phoenix Suns

Thoughts: Similar to last season these two will square off in the Conference Finals, but unlike last year Amare Stoudmire will be present. PHO claims they can win a championship with there offense first mentality, yet I do not see that taking place against a more balance DAL attack. With Dallas they can run with you, or play a slow, halfcourt. Phoenix will be helped by Amare a lot, but that Dallas way of play is such a killer. PHO will get a couple W's, but again Dallas can slow the pace and that is really all that it will come down to.

Dallas in 6 games


Eastern Conference


No. 2 seeded Cleveland Cavaliers/No. 5 seeded Chicago Bulls

Thoughts: If you can remember right at the end of the regular season CLE snagged the No. 2 spot right under CHI's nose. If CLE can get to the Conference Finals it will be only the second time in the franchise's history they have advanced to this stage. The Cavs performed the same feat back in the 1991-92 season when Mark Price and Co. lost to the Bulls (surprise) in six games. Look for the same story line to unfold again. Basically, LeBron does not have anywhere near the supporting cast the Bulls do. When frustrations build for #23 he will try and take the game over himself and fail.

Chicago in 6 games


NBA Finals

No. 1 seeded Dallas Mavericks/No. 5 seeded Chicago Bulls
Thoughts: Bulls will be in the Finals for the first time since MJ won number six back in 1998. It will be pretty incredible to see Dallas make the long journey back to the championship series after having blown a 2-0 lead against Miami last year. This time though, DAL will leave a champ. Chicago is a talented team, but getting past the first round was so new to them this year. The Mavs on the other hand are use to playing this late into the season. They expect it fully. Overall, I think playing such long series will really take a role on the Bulls. In simple terms, Dallas has to win the championship to have had a good year, Chicago will have already exceeded expectations way past what they imagined. Look for Avery Johnson's team to go up 3-1 in the series, lose one, then bring home the glory in Game 6.

Dallas in 6 games

Letting Off Some Steam

A lot has taken place in the sports world recently. Pacman suspended and Imus fired.

As you all know Imus a radio talk show fellow made some crude comments on air following the NCAA Women's Basketball Championship. Long story short, he referred to the Rutgers players as "nappy-headed hos." Controversy erupted. Al Sharpeton went on air to talk to Imus. MSNBC and CBS fired Imus.

First things first, the phrase Mr. Imus said on air is definitely one that should result in punishment. It was a childish remark that was plain disrespectful and uncalled for.

Second thing. He said "hos." Reread that if you want. Imus did say a provocative word, but it was "hos." He did not drop an f bomb or say the n word. The more important thing to look at is how words such as "hos" are so freely used now a days. Personally, I point the finger at the music industry. It seems in recent years the word "ghetto" has grown into a sort of "cool thing to do." I understand MSNBC and CBS may feel by not firing Imus, that would have sent the message to kids that language Imus said was okay. But I completely disagree. Everyone knows Imus did wrong. Everyone knows the words he spoke are unacceptable. The real question to ask is why is not all this negative attention directed more at the hip-hop artists who distribute this kind of language daily?

With that said, firing Imus was a complete overreaction. "Nappy-headed hos" is not a phrase associated with only African-Americans. Imus was fired because of the uproar people like Al Sharpeton and Jesse Jackson caused. Imus did a terrible wrong, but really, really do you honestly think he should be fired, lose his job, his financial security for saying "nappy-headed hos"? For crying out loud, the Rutgers team forgave him. Should we not all just move on? Fat chance on that ever happening.

If there is one thing I have learned form this incident it's when race gets involved in certain matters, what needs to be said always seems to get buried out of fear. That simply needs to stop. It was a racist comment Imus made, but not to the extreme he should be fired.


So the verdict came out and Pacman Jones will be suspended for the 2007 season. For those of you not informed on the whole situation this is what took place in Las Vegas early this year. Pacman was at a strip club where he entered with a giant bag of $81,000 in cash. Well those "high-profile" strippers were dancing and Pacman was throwing money at them. Apparently this money being thrown was all for show. The strippers got mad, one thing lead to another. A worker for the club grabbed some of the money. One thing lead to another. Shots were fired, man was hit, another man was hit and later paralyzed. Prior to this incident Pacman was getting involved with the law as often Daryl Strawberry enters rehab. (That's a lot.)

When I first heard the verdict I thought it was too harsh. Yet I can't but think "too harsh" is very necessary in this situation. Commissioner Roger Goodell needs to send a message to troublemakers in the NFL. The League wants to get it across every player that as an NFL player you have the responsibility to act in certain ways or there will be consequences. The sad thing is Pacman Jones will be involved with law enforcement in the future.

Look at airhead Ron Artest. Did he learn his lesson after the Detroit Massacre? Nope.

Some Comic Relief...

I am a big fan of laughing so I thought I would put up some funny material I came across on the Internet.

Enjoy...

Work Vs. Prison
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell
At work you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison you get 3 meals a day.
At work you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison a guard locks, unlocks...opens and closes all doors for you.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all doors yourself.
In prison you get your own toilet.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow you to visit family and friends.
At work you can't even speak to family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.
In prison you can enjoy many programs which you can leave at anytime.
At work there are some programs you can never get out of.
In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic and psychotic.
At work we call them managers.


World's Smallest Books

The Code of Ethics for Lawyers
The Book of Motivated Postal Workers
Americans' Guide to Etiquette
The World Guide to Good American Beer
Royal Family's Guide to Good Marriages
Safe Places to Travel in the USA
Bill Clinton: A Portrait of Integrity
Jerry Garcia's Guide to Beating Drug Addiction
Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu
The Wit and Wisdom of Dan Quayle.
Consumer Marketing Ethics
Al Gore: The Wild Years
America's Most Popular Lawyers
Career Opportunities for History Majors
Detroit - A Travel Guide
Everything Men Know about Women
George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names
Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
The Amish Phone Book
Great Women Drivers Of Today
Beauty Secrets by Janet Reno
Home Built Airplanes by John Denver
How To Get To The Super Bowl by Dan Marino
Things I Love About Bill by Hillary Clinton
Things I Can't Afford by Bill Gates
Things I Would Not Do For Money by Dennis Rodman
Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific
America's Most Popular Lawyers
All The Men I've Loved Before by Ellen DeGeneres
Spotted Owl Recipes by the Sierra Club