Monday, February 18, 2008

The Worst Place on LSU's Campus

There is one place on LSU’s campus that takes the cake as the single worst structure. Without a doubt it is the Pentagon Testing Facility.

It’s the very place your hopes and dreams for a good grade are slaughtered. The very destination you, mentally die. For me, personally, I think the best grade I have ever gotten in that hellhole is a 78%.

It’s not so much the actual grade I get that makes the Pentagon Correctional Facility so terrible, it’s the atmosphere, it’s the everything.

The first thing you notice when you walk into building are the numerous students in the hallway studying, but unfortunately these are not students in their normal state.


Every girl and boy sitting in that hall is going mentally nuts, insane, you name it. Everyone is cringing the moment there death sentence time is up and they have to walk up to the wooden door and enter pure Hell.

When your Doomsday Clock has hit zero and it is indeed time for you to enter the computer room you almost think for a small, smidgen of a moment that maybe, just maybe, you might do okay on this test you are about to take.

That thought alone only reiterates your cruel fate that you will be miserably failing this test.

Before you are assigned your computer you must sign in, swipe your LSU ID, and get your retina scanned.

Every staff member in the computer room does not blink, does not think, they just stare into your soul waiting to snap at you for the slightest infringement. Such as not promptly having your LSU ID ready upon the exact moment the staff member is ready to check you in.

Then you sit down at your computer. It is here you gaze at the screen and realize that every question you are being asked on this test, in no way whatsoever has anything to do with the material you have learned.

One after one, guess after guess your confidence is destroyed. By the time you reach the end of the test all hope has been transferred into pure rage. You contemplate smashing your forehead through the computer monitor. You are in pain.

What makes your visit in Hell so worthwhile is the staff member watching you like a hawk so you do not cheat off the student next to you taking a completely different test.

After submitting and officially seeing your fate. You leave the dwellings of Lucifer’s Palace and your mental state has been turned into rumble.

There is only one statement that would describe my deepest thoughts about entering the Pentagon Testing Facility:

I’d rather be a Division I-AA team coming into Tiger Stadium on a Saturday night than walk into there ever again.

God have mercy on that place.


~MM~ said...


I guess until the moment I read this post I didn't realize you were an LSU student, and being a Michigander whose never been to LSU, I have no clue what the Pentagon Testing
Facility is, but this post is hilarious!!! It made me laugh because I know exactly how you feel!

Sorry if you got a poor grade! Hope it goes better for you!

Cheers ~


P.S. Do they really scan your retina?! They don't even do that in law school!

The Real Deal said...

No this don't really scan your eyes, but it sure seems like they will someday.